


not in that way

by koganewest



Series: angst sentence prompts [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Crying, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 02:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17092520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koganewest/pseuds/koganewest
Summary: “I'm sorry, Keith,” Lance whispers with sincerity, though he keeps his attention fixed at the sky, like he can't bear the agony of looking at him. Keith’s eyes starts to become blurry with tears, and everything begins to white out. “I'm sorry, believe me. I love you, but not in that way.”





	not in that way

**Author's Note:**

> “you’re still the only thing on my mind.”

He sees it on the space whale. 

Out gathering food one afternoon with Kosmo, Keith notices the sudden bright light before he feels it, before it knocks him off his feet and to the ground. 

The light nearly blinds him. At first, the sunset he sees before him makes him think he’s reminiscing on the past, but when he feels the cool metal of Black beneath him, he knows he’s never experienced this before. This isn’t a memory; it’s a glimpse of the future. _His future._

Then, he hears Lance’s voice and relaxes. This vision won’t be gut-wrenching and awful like his first glimpse was. He thinks this is going to be much kinder to him, that it might even serve to calm his nerves after seeing Shiro’s face twisted up with malignant hostility. It feels like it might just be a great thing. With no war in sight and Kosmo by his side, Keith doesn’t think things could get much better. Realistically speaking, at least, things couldn’t get better. 

It isn’t until he sees Lance that the moment of bliss is interrupted. He’s dressed ridiculously. And then, he finds out the worst part: he’s dressed ridiculously _for a date with Allura._

Keith watches future-Lance sit next to his future self, and they talk of Lance’s insecurities – just as they had in the castle all that time ago. Back then, it’d been tense between them, but now, Lance approaches the conversation with the ease of familiarity. They look comfortable. Briefly, Keith thinks that maybe Lance knows his big secret, but he doesn’t have time to ponder it because he’s interrupted by his future self assuring Lance once more. 

In the vision, Keith’s words are different than they usually are – less guarded. He thinks that maybe he gains confidence in the future. Whatever it is, it helps his future self to reassure Lance of his worth and his place in the world. He almost laughs as he watches himself candidly tell Lance just how important he is to Keith as well, though he doesn’t give away his feelings. 

They sit and watch the sunset a little longer, and Keith feels a deep sadness fill him up completely. It’s something akin to grief, like a love lost but not really gone, just unattainable. The idea of it makes him a little nauseous, but it’s nothing new. 

Given the opportunity, future-Keith compliments Lance once more, and the moment is so cheesy he almost laughs at the two of them. Keith watches the pair look – no, _gaze_ – at each other, and for a second, Keith is completely certain they’re going to kiss. That is, until he remembers why Lance came to him in the first place: his date with Allura. 

There’s a comfortable silence settled between them as the sun finally dips below the horizon when Keith feels it. 

He’s going to tell Lance. 

He watches himself lean forward and rest his arms over his knees, taking a deep breath as if willing himself to go through with it. Then, he does. 

“You know, even after all this war,” Keith listens to his own voice shakily say, “you’re still the only thing on my mind.” 

“What?” is Lance’s immediate response, shocked and reflexive. His eyes are wide with surprise as he looks Keith in the eye, but Keith can’t take the eye contact for long, because he looks away, turning red. Lance sputters, “I– You _what_? What do you mean?” 

Keith sees himself inhale in a deep breath in nervousness. 

“I’m in love with you, Lance,” he explains, tone slightly marred by exasperation. Still, he pushes through. “I know you don’t feel the same, but you need to know how I feel. I’m not sure what’ll happen to us in the next battle. I’d never forgive myself if I never got the chance to tell you.”

He watches Lance stare at him, blanching and unable to form a response. Keith then sees his own eyes fill with tears as he keeps his gaze fixed on the empty sky. 

Lance stays quiet for a while, and finally, future-Keith brings himself to look Lance in the eye. They stay like that for another minute, and for the second time, Keith thinks that they're going to kiss. In fact, he thinks that the two of them are being drawn together by some all-powerful outside force – possibly the sheer power of Keith's will alone – until Lance blinks and flinches away. “You really love me?” 

“More than anything in the world.” 

The words, pained but honest, elicit a deep sigh from future-Lance, and Keith's heart shatters irreparably into pieces.

“I'm sorry, Keith,” he whispers with sincerity, though he keeps his attention fixed at the sky, like he can't bear the agony of looking at future-Keith. Admittedly, he does look quite pathetic; he doesn't really blame Lance. Both the future and current version of himself visibly slump. His eyes starts to become blurry with tears, and everything begins to white out. 

Keith can tell the vision is about to end, but he wants so desperately to cling to it, to grasp onto Lance and never let go. He doesn't know the next time he’ll see Lance's face, so he isn't ready to let it slip through his fingers. 

“I'm sorry, believe me. I love you, but not in that way.”

Keith screams even though he knows he won't be heard. His future is now the last thing he ever wants to experience. 

He screams for the comfort of the Earth’s sunset, screams at himself for being so foolishly hopeful, screams at Lance for being so gentle as he strangles Keith's heart. 

Finally, the white light overtakes him, and he's left to fall back helplessly until he opens his eyes and he's back on the space whale once again. The image of Lance's face is burned into his brain, pitying and apologetic. It makes Keith so sick that he pukes. 

And, hours later, he's pretty sure he's still screaming, crying, sobbing, when Krolia finally finds him.

**Author's Note:**

> s8 ruined me. this is all that’s left of me. lyrics from “not in that way” by sam smith
> 
> im on [tumblr](Https://koganewest.tumblr.com) if you wanna talk angst and pining w me.  
> -lily


End file.
